Written some years ago during a shamanic trance as the spirits try to explain the beginnings of my transformation to shaman ... enjoy!

The Awakening

YOU ASKED US WHAT TRIGGERS THE AWAKENING?

In-deed I did !!

NOW WHO IS BEING CLEVER?

And if I choose to be clever isn't that exactly what I am?

IN-DEED IT IS!!

What is this deed? Yes, yes I know.an illusion!

EVERY DEED IS AN ILLUSION, ALL THINGS YOU NOW EXPERIENCE IS BUT AN ILLUSION. AND YOU WILL AWAKEN TO THINGS WITHIN YOUR ILLUSION. TELL US HOW YOU AWOKE WHITE GOLD.

I would rather not

SO YOU WISH FOR IT NOT TO BE?

No, no, no..I wish to be awake within my illusion

AND WHY IS THIS?

Because as I see it, it is better for me to be awake, aware of my illusions.

SO YOURS IS A BETTER WAY?

No, mine is but a way.

CLEVER, VERY CLEVER!!

YOU HAVE LEARNED MUCH!

SO, WHY IS IT BETTER FOR YOU TO BE AWAKE?

In my reckoning it is better to love than not.

It is better to hear than not.

It is better to live than not.

And I wish to give these gifts to all of mankind.

AND SO DO WE, THAT IS WHY YOU AWOKE. YOU AWOKE TO LIVE, TO LOVE AND TO CARRY THE WORD. AND ONLY JUST IN TIME HUH?

Yes ok, only just in time.

Without this spiritual awakening, without knowing GOD as I do, without speaking my truth, without loving and being loved, I was a dead man. And I realize now that it is this trilogy that truly keeps you alive, heals all wounds, and perfects all imperfections. Work at it, work at it every day, work at it every way, because I tell you now, this is what fixes all that needs to be fixed.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

I just do!!

AND SO YOU DO.

IN-DEED YOU DO.

IT IS TIME, AS YOU KNOW IT, TO FIX IT, TO HEAL THIS ILLUSION, THE ILLUSION HAS NOW GOT BIGGER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE. AND BIGGER AS YOU KNOW IS NOT ALWAYS BETTER, IT MEARLY SEEMS LIKE IT. SO WE ARE HERE TO HEAL THE ILLUSION. IT IS TIME TO DO THIS BEFORE THE ILLUSION DESTROYS ITSELF. AND IF WE ALLOW THE ILLUSION TO DESTROY ITSELF, WHICH BY THE WAY IS IMPOSSIBLE, THEN THERE WOULD BE NO ILLUSION FOR US TO ENJOY. TO BE JOYFUL OF. TO BE A PART OF THE JOY IN EVERY LIVING THING. WE CANNOT DESTROY THE ILLUSION BUT WE SURE CAN CHANGE IT, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I try not to think about it too much lately, I'm trying to change it. I'm trying to do the right thing every day.

THEN TRY NO MORE, DO, BE.

Then could you please give me a helping hand in this. I would dearly love to have some help in this.

WE HELP YOU EVERY DAY, EVERY MOMENT. TO BECOME ONCE MORE A PART OF THE WHOLE.

Then why is it you do not send me more parts of the whole so that we may become whole once more.

WHY SHOULD WE SEND YOU MORE PARTS WHEN YOU ARE ALL THE PARTS?

There I go again, confusing myself. What I meant to say is could you please send me more people to heal. I wish for this to happen. I wish to help GOD, I wish to help myself, and I wish to help every part that needs help.

THEN DO AND BE

DO HELP GOD

DO HELP YOURSELF

DO HELP OTHERS

BE A HELP TO GOD

BE A HELP TO YOURSELF

BE A HELP TO OTHERS.

AND THEN SHALL YOU BE A BE-ING DO-ING

And what of my current predicament?

WHICH ONE?

Now who is being clever? You know which one. The one where I feel as if I have a seed to sow, but do not know where to plant that seed so that it will grow and eventually flower.

YOU WILL KNOW EXACTLY WHERE AND WHEN TO SOW YOUR SEED WHITE GOLD, IN FACT, YOU KNOW RIGHT NOW. WHERE ARE YOU BEING GUIDED TO GO? WHAT ARE YOU BEING GUIDED TO DO? IT IS YOUR CHOICE TO LISTEN OR NOT. YOUR CHOICE.

Yes but I listen and I still do not know what is best.

YOU ALREADY TOLD US YOU KNOW WHAT IS BEST?

I did not!!

YOU DID IN-DEED. YOU TOLD US IT WAS BETTER TO LOVE THAN NOT, BETTER TO SPEAK YOUR TRUTH THAN NOT, BETTER TO LIVE THAN NOT. THEN GO, LOVE, SPEAK, LIVE. DO WHAT IS BEST AND EMBRACE THAT WHICH YOU CREATE.

But, I feel like I am not creating anything, I feel stagnant, I feel stuck.

SO DO NOT BE THESE THINGS. BE ONE THAT CREATES, IS MOVING, AND CONSTANTLY CHANGING. BE THIS AND IT WILL ALL BE ALL RIGHT. EVERYTHING IS JUST THAT. PERFECT!

That really did not help me at all

WE ARE SORRY FOR YOU THAT THIS IS WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO FEEL. IF YOU CHOOSE TO FEEL THAT YOU ARE NOT GETTING ANY HELP, THEN THAT IS YOUR CHOICE. YOU COULD CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE?

NO NOT PITY WHITE GOLD, COMPASSION!

WE WANT TO HELP YOU, ARE YOU GOING TO HELP YOURSELF?

GO DO ALL OF THE THINGS THAT YOU CHOOSE TO DO, WE ARE NOT STOPPING YOU, SO WHY SHOULD YOU?

You are telling me to do everything on my agenda?

WHY NOT? YOU SEEM TO THINK YOU COULD HANDLE THINGS, YOU SEEM TO WISH NOT TO LIMIT YOURSELF, SO WHY DO YOU?

Because, maybe I think that I cannot handle it.

WHY THINK AT ALL, WHY NOT CUT THAT OUT OF YOUR LIFE. WHY NOT JUST GO STRAIGHT TO DOING. JUST DO AND BE EXACTLY THAT WHICH YOU FEEL. YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT, SO GO, BE!

Ok, I will, I will do everything I want to do. It will work out, I know it will, so why even think about it. There how's that for trust?

DID WE ASK FOR YOUR TRUST?

No, but it's there anyway!

THANK YOU.

No, thank you, thank you very much.

AND AGAIN I THANK YOU.

This could go on for a little while, so I am going to be silent, I am just going to be.